lately my life feels like its been a drag. I don’t know why either. I’m having a great time at school; I love it here. The past two weekends have been really fun, school is going well… most classes at least. I guess you can say I’ve felt somewhat lonely around here. My roommate Johnny goes home every weekend… and now that cheetos (my other roommate) has a broken leg he ends up going home every weekend as well. And pete is still in DC co-opping. But whats sad, we all do our own thing when we are all here. Rachel (cheet’s girlfriend) is here with cheet for the first half of the week and then leaves to go home… and that’s pretty much the other reason matt goes home is to be with her. Then Johnny goes home every weekend just because he does for some reason… always has. During the week he spends his time talking on the phone with his girlfriend. So it feels like I have my own place, which is nice at times… but I wish I had someone around all the time that I could hangout with on a daily basis. Now that I think of it… andy, a friend that is in the same major as me, is kind of in the same boat… we really should start doing stuff together. We both live here at irving commons. And he has one roommate that’s never around as well. The weekends are another story though… usually tom or brice picks me up Friday and I end up hanging out with that crew all weekend, which is great… love hanging out with that whole group. And even that has a problem in itself: a place to stay at night. Every weekend I end up sleeping on couches and for the most part its great that I have so many places to stay, but my bed would be nice sometimes.

I don’t really know what is going on in my life right now… I mean I don’t feel like there is a spot for ‘me’ in this world, if that makes sense. I don’t have friends or a significant other to spend everyday with. My best friends from home I never see or talk to. It’s kinda sad. I donno… next semester will be different with pete around I think… and then next year WILL be awesome because I will be on campus again, and hopefully living in a house with all my friends. I’m not saying that this year isn’t sweet already… my awesome friends always are cool as hell about picking me up and its ‘the best time in my life’ hanging out with them. I’m blessed to have such great friends. I guess I just feel far, disconnected, and lonely at times and really don’t know how to feel about it.

The title is lyrics from the band; terminal. Really awesome group… totally sets my mood in general lately. To leave on a positive note… here are some lyrics from terminal that really expresses my weekends. Haha…

lets stay out all night
go everywhere we took
live while we're alive
and take the world for more
for more

when the sun is coming up
and we're still hanging out
it's never been so nice to have someone around
who believes in love

couldn't we all use the company
when days don't last
couldn't we stand to hear someone say
we're not all bad

lets not make it home tonight
because days don't last

im going to bed now. goodnight.